What should I do?

Well, it's sounds like you're depressed but you have goals. You know what your issues are. You just have to narrow in on what is most important to you. You've probably heard that when you don't go for what you want, you choose to accept what you don't want. Don't be too hard on yourself. Look at your accomplishments and remember that every goal you strive for will require time and change. Keep the faith!